So, none of what you told me was anything new that I didn’t already try. So again nothing you said actually helped solve the issue. The problem is, again another strangeness of this theme, or perhaps workign with buddypress, since I am new to it as well. I noticed that when I was finally able to see one of my effects have a change it was right after the latest grimlock update. I’m not sure if that might have been causing the problem, but I have noticed that there are glitches and inconsistencies with customizer showing things updating in real time, and sometimes not updating until you press publish and x out of customizer.
While viewing the logged out version of my site, i was not seeing customizer changes going into effect. The changes were not shown because I was viewing the site in an incognito window, so that i could see registered changes while i am also logged in in a regular window. Since the header is waht i was editing and its different for logged in and out users, i had to edit while logged in and check my changes while logged out. in order to save time i just had my site logged out in an incognito window. XD So in order to see any customization changes you have to close the incognito window, not just refresh the window, which is what i was doing and not seeing any changes register. Then reopen a new incognito window and go to your site. I guess while in an incognito window once you load the page you are looking at a cached page, and refreshing it doesn’t show any changes you might have made in customizer until you revisit the page in a new window